Although it doesn’t seems like the right word (now that I am an adult), but I have always been shy. Reserved isn’t the right word because I’m game to act like a fool. I just lack comfort when engaging people I don’t know or don’t know well. To address this level of discomfort, I have either volunteered for tasks or devised tasks for myself: given myself a reason to talk to people.
Now, after several years of busy work and tending to the details of my self-imposed jobs, I find myself leading a group. I will still have tasks to complete and non-organic reasons to talk to people, but now I also have emotional and cerebral tasks: monitoring and motivating people. Yes, I am nervous to some degree, but I am also excited. This is progress and the reason I started reaching out in the first place.
I am very contemplative as I find myself specifically aware that I am on the verge of learning how I am going to handle it.
